The blessings that came with motherhood brought joys, tears and changes as I adjusted to being a mother of one, two then three beautiful children. With every additional child came a unique challenge. Becoming a parent was as intense as life experiences come and impacted on every area of my life; however I never anticipated that it would hugely impact my faith and spiritual life. Fulfilling my religious obligations with the never-ending demands and responsibilities of motherhood became difficult. I am not sure what happened or how it happened, but I gradually lost control of my worship and spirituality.
Acts of worship that once drew me closer to my Lord and boosted my faith became difficult, as I devoted less time to my spiritual growth. Over time I lost the enthusiasm to continue religious habits I had cultivated over the years on my spiritual journey.  Daily Quran recitation, voluntary prayers and fasts and regularly seeking knowledge became a burden, as I clung on to the bare minimum acts of worship such as praying five times a day and fasting in the month of Ramadan. I could feel my relationship with Allah slipping away day by day as I attended to the needs of my new born baby or toddler who had polished their face with some sort of lotion. Rushed prayers, sneaking off to get five minutes to read the Quran only to be interrupted by the screams of fighting siblings become my reality. I forced myself to remain optimistic and was not going to be defeated by the strains of motherhood! I attended the Friday prayer with my children a few times and each time they failed to sit quietly in the corner as I had hoped and invited disapproving looks by devout worshippers who wanted to pray in peace. I reluctantly accepted that my life naturally had to be adjusted, but deep down I felt spiritually starved and empty. I couldn’t help but remember how religiously active I was before I became a mother. I missed the days where I was able to pray all five daily prayers with full concentration, and read the Quran without being interrupted. I dreamt about my weekends that were once filled with Islamic talks and events that strengthened my relationship with my creator. I yearned to be close to my Lord once again and was tired of being the physically, emotionally and spiritually burnt out person I had become. It was time to take control of my spiritual life and strive as I once did to restore my connection with Allah. I no longer wanted to use motherhood as an excuse to remain stagnant, I was ready to invest in myself and reclaim my faith even as a mother.