I had been married for twenty-three days and was enjoying life as a new bride. Transitioning into married life was both exciting and nerve-wracking. The process of getting to know my husband at a deeper, intimate level was filled with unexpected joys and fears as we planned the rest of our lives. I was happy and doubted I would ever experience the post honeymoon blues everyone had warned me about.
An old friend asked to meet up with me for tea, cake and a friendly chat. I didn’t anticipate that a casual meeting would turn into me having to defend the authenticity of my marriage.
We met up as planned and within a short time of ordering our teas and delicious cakes, a barrage of questions were thrown at me; “Why did you rush to get married?”, “Was it arranged?”. I barely had time to answer before she asked another question, then another. I was caught off guard. Like any new bride, all I wanted to do was giggle with my friend about the romantic moments, never ending compliments and how wonderful my twenty-three days as a wife had been so far, but she clearly had a different agenda. She asked how I knew he was the ‘one’ and if I was sure I was happy. I was slowly loosing patience and became very irritated by her assumptions. It was time to set the record straight! I didn’t just marry the first man I had met and my marriage was certainly not forced on me. We had met as family friends and had gotten to know more about each other before getting married. It may have seemed rushed to her as there was no public display of the ‘newest couple in town’ or parading him around my friends. There was no romantic story of how we met or feelings of intense electrifying ‘sparks’ to signify we would be perfect for each other. She listened attentively as I clarified her misconceptions. Apart from my husband and I being physically attracted to each other, we discussed many things such as expectations, ideal family life, finances and more. Taking time to contemplate our similarities and differences helped me make a final decision. My ‘spark’ was the moment I was comfortable that I could continue my life and spiritual journey with him after seeking guidance through prayer.
Her concerned frown faded and the tension in her voice eased. She apologised for doubting my decision and happiness and admitted she did not understand my new lifestyle, which led to her assumptions. I did not expect her to agree with my choices or lifestyle but I wanted my decisions to be respected. We had a friendly giggle over the various lingerie items I had received as gifts at my bridal shower and how I was adjusting to married life.
As I made my journey home, I promised myself that I would stop defending my decisions and actions. My main focus now was to continue to enjoy and develop a strong foundation in my marriage.