My spiritual journey had taken a different turn through the adventure of motherhood and took me out of my spiritual comfort zone. To make the change I desperately wanted, I had to stop mourning who I was and embrace who I had become. I lost interest in competitive parenting, let go of the ‘super mum’ pretense and stopped putting unrealistic expectations on myself to be a perfect mother. I had been so absorbed in motherhood that I convinced myself that there was no time to strengthen my faith. Reminding myself of my main purpose- to worship Allah gave me a much needed awakening to refocus my priorities. Once I chose to make my connection with Allah a priority, my perspective changed drastically. I decided to take action to reclaim my faith and nourish my soul. I worked on building a deeper concentration during my daily prayers and aimed to read at least one page of the Quran a day. There was no miraculous change in my duties as a mother; my children were sick at times, my toddler boycotted sleep and I was often exhausted from sleep deprivation. Taking it one day at a time made the process of rebuilding the connection with my creator less overwhelming. I stopped making excuses that “I was too tired” or “too busy” and made some compromises to create some time in my day. My family wouldn’t suffer if the kitchen wasn’t spotless every single day, and cooking fewer meals instead of five lavish meals a day gave me some free time to invest in my spiritual growth. The days I didn’t feel strong and had no clue what I was doing, I cried to my Lord to help me on this beautiful, wild journey called motherhood. Setting practical and achievable goals gave me hope that it was possible to revive my faith. I consciously looked for ways and opportunities to connect with my Lord at a deeper level. Choosing to focus on what I could do rather than how stuck I was in the ‘hardships’ of motherhood motivated me to persevere. There were days I didn’t achieve my spiritual goals and would start again the next day, and the day after that. As long as I was taking action, I was making progress. Attending Islamic events were no longer spontaneous and involved weeks of planning and preparation. Due to limited childcare options, I attended religious talks for a few hours instead of a full day and expressed milk in advance for my baby to enable me to benefit from being in a religious gathering child free to boost my faith. Letting go of perfectionism and the non-existent ‘perfect moment’ removed a barrier that was hindering my spiritual growth. I came to the realisation that there was no ‘ideal moment’ and created ‘my moment’ by utilising pockets of time. The unpredictable demands of motherhood required me to be flexible and continuously seek new ways of maintaining my spirituality. Investing in my spiritual growth meant that I forced myself to attend an online Islamic course when all I wanted to do was snuggle up and sleep after an exhausting day with the children. Seven years into my motherhood journey, my search for spiritual balance is ongoing. I am not where I want to be but I am no longer relying on the “the perfect moment” to reclaim my faith.
One thought on “A glimpse of hope”
Love the practical advice and in particular you he advice of taking one step at a step is so important. I love the quote “the only person you’re in competition with is yourself” we need to stop comparing ourself ms to others ❤
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